Monday, March 22, 2010

Party Time= SIT DOWN!!!!

Hello Customers,
I see you have brought a large group with you today.. you didn't make a reservation for your party of 20??? Hmmm ok just wait a few minutes and we will see what we can do... Yes I understand you are in a hurry I will get this taken care of ( BIG SMILE).

Believe it or not customers but this ACTUALLY happens ALLLLLLL the time. Now I know none of my regular readers would do this because you are all far to well educated now in the world of eating out. However incase you ever stumble upon this situation at a restaurant here is what the server/staff is really thinking.

1) I see you have brought a large group with you today - Actual Thought: You have got to be kidding me right... Can you please tell your children to stop pressing the handicap button and throwing mints at each other

2) you didn't make a reservation for your party of 20??? - Actual Thought: It's friday night at 6pm and you didn't think it would be busy??? Your joking right?

3) Hmmm ok just wait a few minutes and we will see what we can do- Actual Thought: How can I arrange the chairs so that this party is NOT in my section?

4)Yes I understand you are in a hurry I will get this taken care of. - Actual Thought: Are you really getting mad at me right now lady???

So their you have it customers, now you will be able to laugh the next time you see this situation.

Oh 2 final tips if you do happen to go out with a large group of people
1) Sit Down: the server is trying to keep your bills and food organized. Every time you switch seats I get confused.
2) Remember what you ordered: When you see a line of servers coming out carrying food, take a second to remember what you ordered so that when they call out you actually know what is yours.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Why Being A Server Isn't for Everyone

Hey Customers,
I know that I have been venting a lot on this blog, and though it may sound like I detest my job, I actually don't mind it that much. That being said.... I understand that serving isn't for everyone. So here is my top ten reasons why being a server isn't for everyone, if you can handle all these you may want to apply.

1) You are always wrong
- When a guest tells you he/she ordered a Pepsi but your memory, the computer and your note pad all say iced tea.... he/she wanted a Pepsi

2) Tip Out
- The constant "but your tips are good right?" conversation about your lack of money for social events can get annoying. There is this little thing called a tip out that must be considered with every order you take. The tip out is always constant, so if you don't get tipped then the kitchen receives money from your personal bank account.

3) Social Life
- Short and simple. YOU DON'T HAVE ONE!!!!

4) Math 101
- Your guests are angry because YOU didn't inform them that the the extra sauce, their extra scoop of ice cream, and the chicken added to their nachos cost extra.

5) The Smile
- You have heard me talk about this one before. Not everyone can pull off the fake smile.
(Hint- the rosy cheeks makes it easier)

6) Conversation
- Guests only like to talk to you when every other table in your section is full. The conversation is always the same..."So what do you do when you aren't working?.... Hmmmm a student... well good luck with that." (Insert look of pity)

7)Same Side Sitters
- Those wonderful couples who can't stand to be away from each other that they sit on the same side of the table. They order for one another and if you are lucky will share each others meals.
- Please also note those that hold hands across the table while they are eating. These are especially noticeable on Valentines Day (the day were everyone gets to spend the day with their significant other except you because of reason number 3)

8) Families with Kids
- For me this one isn't so bad, because I like kids. However I could do without the 20min cleanup due to pasta being thrown, drinks spilt, and crayons broken in half.

9) Birthdays
- For some reason people actually enjoy having a group of strangers sing some stupid song about them getting older in front of a room full of strangers. This time in the night requires a lot of reason 5.

10) Servers Pay
- Incase you didn't know servers receive "Servers Pay" aka LESS THEN MINIMUM WAGE.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I Have 2 Degrees!!!

Hi Customers,
Now I understand that it's after 5pm and I am expected to wait on you hand and foot, however during the day I am a full time student with 2 degrees. Soooo waving your drinks at me and speaking
to me like I'm idiot will not get you served quicker.
Here is the situation:
Me: Hi girls how are you....
Customer: I want 2 vodka cranberry's
Me: Ok anyth..
Customer: 2 ok I want 2.
Me: Ok I will be right back (Actual Thought = Is this girl serious right now?)
- ok customers now after I return with the drinks and my wonderful SMILE, I left for 2 min to clean a table only to hear
Customer: HELLO (waving of drinks) I NEED 2 MORE!!!
Me: Ok... anything else
Customer: Can you just get me my drinks.. 2 more !!
Me: Sure I'll be right back (Actual Thought= This chick is going to get 2 drinks in her pretty blond face)

Now customers I'm not trying to be mean but seriously you would want to do the same, let's be honest.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Waitress Game!

Hi Customers,
Found this game online and it made me laugh!!! Now you can be in my serving shoes!! Have fun!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Debit, Credit, Any Change?

Hi Customers,

So happy that you enjoyed your meal tonight can I get you anything else?


Well then I’ll grab your check for you.

Insert cheesy “Do you have to give me my check” comment here!!!


Actual Thought- If I here another one of these jokes tonight I’m going to scream!

All right here’s your bill if you need debit, credit or any change please let me know.

Ok customers this is where today’s lesson comes into play. Once you are given the bill please JUST PAY IT!!!! Then you can hangout, finish your beer, finish your coffee, we don’t care.

You see customers we servers can’t go home unless we have collected all the payments for the night so while you are having a laugh and relaxing we are giving you the death stare from the servers area. I know that for the past hour I have waited on you hand and foot but now I would like to go home, I actually do have a life outside this restaurant.

So there you have it, short and sweet (just like me)

Get Bill – Pay Right Away!

Monday, February 22, 2010

I Do Remember You

Hello Customers,

Ok so I know in my previous post I said that I don’t really remember customers when they come in, well here’s the thing when you’re rude to me and cut me off before I have even said hello, I’m going to remember who you are.

For instance a specific customer, who shall remain nameless, comes into my establishment on a regular basis. The moment this specific customer enters there is a made dash from the servers to the hostesses to request not having this customer in their section because of situations like this:

Me: Hi how is ev…. (cut off)

Customer: I want a coke and they are all drinking water (referring to the rest of the party).

Me: Ok (said with smile) I will be right back. (Actual Thought = great here we go again)

Me: Alright here are everyone’s drinks…Are we ready to order or do …. (cut off again)

Customer: The last time I was here they got my order completely wrong, I don’t even know why I come back.

Me: I’m really sorry about that I’ll do everything I can to make sure today is better (SMILE, Actual Thought= I would LOVE if you never came back)

Customer: GOOD it BETTER be right today.

Me: Silence (Actual Thought= I have no idea what to say right now and I would like to throw that coke in your face)

Customer: Fine they are having a pepperoni pizza (interruptions from party)… NO that’s what you are having!!

Me: Silence (Actual Thought= you poor children)

Customer: Now I want a salad BUT NO meat, I’m ALLERGIC!!!!

Me: Ok wonderful, I’ll put that in for you right away and if you need anything else please let me know (BIG SMILE) (Actual Thought= Lady you are a LIAR you were in here last week and yelled at me because your STEAK wasn’t cooked right!!!!)

So there you go customers!!! Moral of today’s post we servers remember the terrible customers and just because we are smiling doesn’t mean I am not dreaming of throwing a drink in your rude face.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Can I See Your ID????

Hello Customers, how is everyone doing tonight??

Excellent, Ok would anyone like a drink?? A beer? S

ure can I just check your ID?

This statement customer’s requires one simple answer: Sure you can check my ID, no problem.

However for some reason asking for an ID is like asking for $50!!!! Customers it is my job to ask for your ID and one day this will be seen as a complement.

As you can tell today’s post is geared towards the younger generation, especially those in the twenty-year range.

I know you are all super cool now because you can hang out at the bar and the novelty of being nineteen and showing people your ID has worn off, but I’m sorry children you still look like you are twelve years old. So when I ask for your ID please don’t give me a hard time. No I don’t know who you are, I don’t know your drink, and I don’t remember you from last week. I served 200 kids last week that look just like you, I can’t keep track.

Just pass me your ID and be happy or trying to get your next drink will be a little difficult. Remember I am your access to alcohol so keep me happy!!!

Finally for those less than nineteen here is a quick tip:

If you come in one night and ask me which fake ID looks more like you, don’t come back the next night and try and use it. In those cases I do remember who you are.